Parenting is hard...
Oh great...
I was working today, discussing the next project with Chris, when I got a call from the Turlock Police saying that there was an officer at my house with Jaime and his friend Andre who had been caught lighting things on fire in this empty lot behind the apartment complex. Sorry Chris, I gotta go.
I got home and found that there was a police car and a fire truck in our driveway and that the kids were in the house with a Fireman standing in the doorway talking to them. When I arrived, the police officer told me that they had gone to Walgreens across the street and bought a couple bottles of rubbing alcohol that they were pouring on stuff to get it to burn. One of the things they were burning was a book (an old history text of Jaime's) and that pissed me off more than the fact that they were playing with fire in the first place. After all, boys will be boys and most of us have probably played with fire a bit.
This was not well thought out though and they got caught, though today was not the first time they had burned stuff back there. I had noticed in the past few days that it appeared as if my bottle of rubbing alcohol under the bathroom sink had lost a lot of its contents. I meant to ask him about it, but there was not a good time to do so until now. Jaime admitted that they had first used some alcohol out of bottle in bathroom to light stuff on Thursday. He also admitted that the whole thing was his idea, for which I am proud of him. At least he didn't try to foist off the responsibility for this bright idea on Andre. I wouldn't have believed it anyway as Jaime seems to be the Alpha Dog in that little pack.
Jaime is now banned from all video games, going out with friends, all noneducational TV, and generally confined to the house or my company outside of school hours. He told me that he needs something to do in his free time except hang around the house - not as an excuse exactly, he didn't offer up an excuse at all, just said that he wasn't thinking or he wouldn't have done it. So, in addition to being grounded, he must find something to do with his time before he can get off restriction. I told him he could do internet research to that end, I can get him back into judo, or he can try another martial art, or he can find a place to get back into practicing his skating, or he can write, or, etc... But, he has to find a positive use for his time, that he will enjoy and is willing to stick to, before he will be allowed any freedom. He also must figure out how to prove to me that I can trust him out of my sight. Until this, I pretty much did. But trust is easy to break and hard to fix for sure.
I am really disappointed that he would be that thoughtless. I expect boys to do silly, dangerous stuff, it's in the blood and the hormones; but, I would have hoped that he wouldn't do something so idiotic and at the same time so visible. It is for the best though; being that careless allows me to make an early intervention and hopefully we can get him back on track. I am beginning to think that he needs a firmer hand, as little as I want to be his jailer. Wish me luck folks...and any ideas from parents out there would be appreciated. On the converse, if you don't have kids and are not a professional in the field of dealing with adolescents, be careful of what kind of input you try to give. I do not suffer fools nor incompetent busy bodies gladly nor with forbearance.
Peace out, now I have to decide when, how and if to tell his mother about this...
I was working today, discussing the next project with Chris, when I got a call from the Turlock Police saying that there was an officer at my house with Jaime and his friend Andre who had been caught lighting things on fire in this empty lot behind the apartment complex. Sorry Chris, I gotta go.
I got home and found that there was a police car and a fire truck in our driveway and that the kids were in the house with a Fireman standing in the doorway talking to them. When I arrived, the police officer told me that they had gone to Walgreens across the street and bought a couple bottles of rubbing alcohol that they were pouring on stuff to get it to burn. One of the things they were burning was a book (an old history text of Jaime's) and that pissed me off more than the fact that they were playing with fire in the first place. After all, boys will be boys and most of us have probably played with fire a bit.
This was not well thought out though and they got caught, though today was not the first time they had burned stuff back there. I had noticed in the past few days that it appeared as if my bottle of rubbing alcohol under the bathroom sink had lost a lot of its contents. I meant to ask him about it, but there was not a good time to do so until now. Jaime admitted that they had first used some alcohol out of bottle in bathroom to light stuff on Thursday. He also admitted that the whole thing was his idea, for which I am proud of him. At least he didn't try to foist off the responsibility for this bright idea on Andre. I wouldn't have believed it anyway as Jaime seems to be the Alpha Dog in that little pack.
Jaime is now banned from all video games, going out with friends, all noneducational TV, and generally confined to the house or my company outside of school hours. He told me that he needs something to do in his free time except hang around the house - not as an excuse exactly, he didn't offer up an excuse at all, just said that he wasn't thinking or he wouldn't have done it. So, in addition to being grounded, he must find something to do with his time before he can get off restriction. I told him he could do internet research to that end, I can get him back into judo, or he can try another martial art, or he can find a place to get back into practicing his skating, or he can write, or, etc... But, he has to find a positive use for his time, that he will enjoy and is willing to stick to, before he will be allowed any freedom. He also must figure out how to prove to me that I can trust him out of my sight. Until this, I pretty much did. But trust is easy to break and hard to fix for sure.
I am really disappointed that he would be that thoughtless. I expect boys to do silly, dangerous stuff, it's in the blood and the hormones; but, I would have hoped that he wouldn't do something so idiotic and at the same time so visible. It is for the best though; being that careless allows me to make an early intervention and hopefully we can get him back on track. I am beginning to think that he needs a firmer hand, as little as I want to be his jailer. Wish me luck folks...and any ideas from parents out there would be appreciated. On the converse, if you don't have kids and are not a professional in the field of dealing with adolescents, be careful of what kind of input you try to give. I do not suffer fools nor incompetent busy bodies gladly nor with forbearance.
Peace out, now I have to decide when, how and if to tell his mother about this...
posted by CSUS Sociology Club News at 4:37 PM
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